You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. ~ Nicholas Sparks

For the past four months, I have paid careful attention about doing more what is right for me, even though I have to live with the fact that it i hurting those who were once closest to me. C'est la vie. They should have put more forethought into doing something that they knew would hurt my boys. And that's all I can say before this grows into a tangent.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning. ~ Louis L'Amour

So this brings to a close the March quotes. I have an idea for April's theme and it's one that could get really amusing. However, you have to wait until next month to hear about it.

Happy springtime!

Peace On Earth

"Parents are not quite interested in justice, they are interested in quiet." ~ Bill Cosby

This is very true. As a mom of two teenage boys, I often don't pay attention as I should to their bickering. I don't care who is right or wrong when bickering ensues; but I care very much about having peace and quiet restored as quickly and painlessly as possible.

However, that is not going to be a problem between now and Easter Sunday. We've dropped the oldest off for a visit with my in-laws. The youngest had a visit last fall, and now it's his brother's turn. I'm more than ready for a break after the past few weeks of rebellion, foul language, and blatant disrespect for other family members. (But enough about my own bad habits -- har, har.)

Do I feel guilty about admitting that I need a break from my kids? No, not one bit. They need a break from me too, especially when you consider that they are basically with me 24/7.

My in-laws and I don't always see eye to eye about my kids. There are a lot of things we disagree about regarding politics, finances, and other hot button topics. But they unconditionally love my kids, and I know they would never let any harm come to the boys.

With that in mind, bring on Spring Break! I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to kick it off by escaping with my partner in crime for a mani-pedi.

Praise and Sadness for Terry Pratchett

"There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write." ~ Terry Pratchett

I love darned near everything about Terry Pratchett. For those of you unfamiliar with this genius of words, he's a British author who writes in the genre of fantasy and science-fiction. Most of his books revolve around a place called Discworld and the very interesting characters who live there. One of the most amazing things about him is that he's been writing these books for over forty years. That's my entire lifetime, plus a year for good measure.

Before turning 60, Terry Pratchett was appointed to Officer of the Order of the British Empire for "services to literature", knighted, awarded eight honorary doctorates, and won too many awards to list including the Carnegie Medal. His books are translated into more than 35 languages. They even named an asteroid after this guy. As of two years ago, his books had sold more than 65 million copies. I can't even begin to comprehend what one million books would look like, much less sixty-five times that number.

Sadly, three years ago Terry Pratchett announced that he suffers from Alzheimer's Disease. This runs on both sides of my family, so it's a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. When he found out he had it, he didn't bemoan his fate and sit around pouting about it. He made a sizable donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust, and then went a step further and developed a program for BBC television that chronicles his experiences with the disease.

But wait, there's more.

Terry Pratchett doesn't have just any form of early-onset Alzheimer's Disease. He has a rare type called posterior cortical atrophy. Know what that means? Areas at the back of his brain are shriveling up, and actually shrinking. I cannot imagine how that would feel, knowing that a disease could take away the thing that you loved to do best...writing.

This man is an utter optimist. He met with Prime Minister Gordon Brown in 2008 to ask for an increase in research funding, and has been testing a prototype device that has shown some improvements in his condition. Sadly, in the time since his condition has deteriorated to the point that he writes via dictating to someone else, or with speech recognition software. In 2009, he stated that he does not wish to let the disease win, but prefers assisted suicide. That makes me really sad. Regardless of whether a disease takes your life or you take it yourself, the disease still wins.

So Happy Together

"Alone, we can do so little. Together, we can do so much." ~ Helen Keller

That quote is very true.

Recently I started overbidding on jobs, and giving myself longer deadlines in hopes that new clients would say, "Oh, she's too expensive" or "We want work done faster than that." But no, they just keep hiring me to do more work! Which isn't a bad thing, but still...when I added up all the jobs I had lined up for the next two weeks, the total equaled more than 35,000 written words. And four pieces of art. What the heck was I thinking.

I did not freak out. I stayed calm. And I hired two people that I am using as ghost writers. Because most of the work that I do is just fodder for websites, and more a way to get the attention of a search engine than something that people will read, any decent writer can do it.

The weight that lifted off my shoulders this afternoon was amazing. I'm so relaxed, I don't think I'll have any trouble getting to sleep tonight.

Grow Old With Me

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made.

ROBERT BROWNING

I love everything about the Brownings. If you've never read their story, it goes something like this:

He fell in love with her upon reading her published poetry. She was in delicate health. Her father was very against it. Robert moved Elizabeth to Italy, where love and the better atmosphere caused her health to improve as she thrived in her new lifestyle. They lived happily ever after.

Doesn't that make you just sigh with hope? Even if you're already in your own happily ever after?

Now, here's a link into mine:

Husband:   Damn it, I have to pee again.
Me:             It's because you're forty.
Husband:   What?
Me:             It's because you're forty.
Husband:   I was snoring?
Me:             IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FORTY.
Husband:   Oh.

As he walked away, I muttered something about being forty also affecting his hearing.

Revisiting the "Two Great Quotes for One Low Price!" Idea

Where words fail, music speaks. (Hans Christian Andersen)

I love this quote. It's so perfect, and obviously a lot of people agree with out, perhaps even without knowing that they agree with it. Just go to YouTube and look at all the people who are posting music to the person they're with, or used to be with, or want to be with in life. Here is a link to one of my favorite local singers who you should go check out directly after reading this blog entry.

I spend my life essentially alone at a computer. That doesn't change. I have the same challenges every day. (Dan Brown)


Boy, can I ever relate to this one. But he's right. I have the same challenges as anyone else. Time management. Remembering to stop working long enough to eat lunch. Not working too late into the night, and taking care of certain things first thing every morning, like checking e-mail and responding to client messages received overnight, that will help plan my day and make it run more smoothly.

But for right now, I'm stepping away from the computer and all work related to it. I'm taking my sons to see The Hunger Games. It's two and a half hours that we can spend together without arguing or bickering. At this point in their teenagehood, I'll take whatever I can get.

Would You Battle Lions for Food and/or Sex?

“Little old laides 
speed away in their wheel chairs, 
frightened meals on wheels.” 
― Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry for Your...Brains 

Zombies are a hot item right now. The haiku in the quote above makes a point that is both excellent and amusing. This Facebook status makes another good point.

Would you fight a lion to have sex? As a good friend pointed out upon reading the status: "Depends. Who am I having sex with for this to happen?"

Same with the sandwich. If it was a run-of-the-mill, PB&J on white bread, not worth a lion. If it's a medium-rare prime rib on ciabatta with A1 sauce, miracle whip, tomatoes, and a cup of au jus sauce for dipping and a side of thick-cut steak fries slathered in ketchup? Lemme at the big cat already.

An Aura of Fail

Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night. ~ Zig Ziglar


Sorry Zig, but I disagree.

A friend and I were talking over Skype earlier, and the conversation went like this:

Friend - Do you every secretly enjoy seeing someone you knew from forever ago and seeing that they are just trainwrecks of people?


Me - Yes, absolutely. There was a girl in my neighborhood growing up, who was the real-life equivelant of Beth [current arch-nemesis in a game this friend and I both play] for me at the time. (Isn't there always one of those?) Anyway, I FB stalked her and saw that she was just horrible looking, in the way hookers are if they live into their 60's and breathed a sigh of relief. I may be carry a few extra pounds, but my skin is a natural color, my hair is its (relatively) natural color, and I will never make the mistake of using day-glo orange foundation before putting on cosmetics.


Friend - Yeah, same sort of thing, she got fat, has no life, no kids, no job.  I laughed a little inside.


Me - This chick is anorexic thin, with orange skin from too much tanning bed time, and her hair is frosted that grayish blonde of the 80s. And she tried to get her cosmetics to match, but it just gave her an aura of fail.


Friend - Ewww.

It was very ewww, indeed. Everything about the picture she used for her icon gave her an aura of fail, and it was just made more glowing by the lack of concern to grammar and spelling in her status updates. Looking at her actually made me feel a little bit better about me. And I didn't feel bad about feeling better about myself. Let's face it. Because her house lacks teenagers and two large-breed hounds, it's probably not overrun with clutter and dog hair.

So there you have it. Despite the fact that deep down I am insecure and have all these issues to sort out if I ever hope to achieve anything that comes anywhere close to a state of normalcy, I can also at times be as shallow and petty as a cheerleader character vying for prom queen in film made for the Lifetime Movie Network. I'm not proud of it, but I am honest about it.

Love Is All We Need

"Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always." - Dante Alighieri

Apparently it started in Europe but happens all over the world. Couples put their initials on the lock, attach it to the fence along a bridge, and then toss the key into the water below. Sadly thieves have begun snipping the locks off and selling them for scrap metal, which is probably what would happen if the locks were placed on fences around here. It's still a very sweet idea, though. 

Word Breeders Make Chores for Readers

“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.” ~ Dr. Seuss

That's my current freelance writing job. I make a chore for the readers who read. Literally, I take scant amounts of words and turn them into a count that equals exactly 250 words, every single time.

I'm seriously considering changing my car's license plate to a vanity tag that reads VERBOSE1.

...never forget...

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.  ~Andy Rooney 


Today's quote is in memory of my dear Granny, who had her first birthday in heaven today. Today was especially poignant because it marked one year since the last time I saw her alive. I love her very much, and miss her and think about her every single day.

If you have a granny, go hug her tight while you can.

For the Love of Reading

"Becoming the reader is the essence of becoming a writer." ~ John O'Hara 

Thanks to doting parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles I became a reader at a very early age. My appetite for words could only be described as voracious. Once I figured out letters formed words, and words formed sentences, and sentences formed magical places, I used books as a means to visit different places, to dream up my own stories, but mostly just to escape.

I still read several books per month, and both my boys enjoy reading. My husband dislikes reading for pleasure. He really likes reading to learn, though. He'll devour a magazine about hunting or fishing, but leave most books on the topic sitting on the bedside table, untouched.

This morning, as I sat in bed with my laptop and worked, my husband lay across the bed in the opposite direction reading a full-length novel that he picked out and purchased one day last week while he was out shopping and I was working from home. It was one of the best mornings we've had in a long while.

Never give up hope that someone will grow to share your love of books. They may just surprise you.

"If music be the food of love; play on." - William Shakespeare

Tonight I have a date with my husband to go hear a very dear friend play music and sing. We were blessed with the opportunity to hear her a few weeks ago. She is one of those people who lights up a room just by walking in it, and who would risk frostbite to give up her mittens to keep someone else's fingers warm. Every person I know who knows her, just adores her. I saw this quote and thought of her immediately.

Happiness

“We're not meant for happiness, you and I.” 
― Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca

Over the years my friends have provided me with a countless number of happy moments. Some of them stay in touch, and we enjoy trips down memory lane now and again. And I would not trade that for anything in the world.

One of the lessons life so helpfully taught me over the past four decades was that there are no guarantees. Just because someone shares your life today does not mean that they will share it in a year, in a month, in a week, or even tomorrow. Whether it is by fate, or death, or pride, or whatever else, that person can be ripped out of your life in the blink of an eye.

This recently happened to me. Someone who I spoke to on a daily basis and was the cause for many moments of laughs - laughs that started like ginger ale bubbles and grew into something that resembled the audio equivalent of the eruption of Mount Saint Helens - made some unhealthy decisions that led to our not speaking. We are still friends, but have not spoken in months.

When I read this quote, that is the person who immediately sprung to mind. Not the members of my family who I wrote off well before the holidays. Not past loves from before I met my husband. But this one person whose brief interruption into my daily life left a permanent scar on my soul.

Wherever you are, friend, I hope life is treating you well.

Begin at the Beginning

"Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop." ~ Lewis Carroll

If only it were that easy, right?

While on vacation I was inspired with the idea for a book. The plot spans several generations of women who are beautiful because of their strengths, even though they may not even realize they are strong at the time. And of course there is another character that connects them all, even though they won't know it until the end.

The problem is that there is no way I'll be able to begin at the beginning and go on until I come to the end, and then stop. I'm more likely to develop an outline and then develop it until everything is done. Fingers crossed for an outcome that is something as beautiful as the characters themselves.

That Was Easy!

"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

Isn't that the truth. Tonight in the process of trying to wrap a PVC archery bow with duct tape, my husband gave up in frustration. Seeing that it would be easier to wrap if the width of the tape was halved, I gave it a shot. And got it on the first try.

Now he has three more for me to wrap. I have something like 8,000 words to write before midnight on Monday. There is a moral to this story, and that would be this:

Sometimes, it's better to shut up and be right in silence, than follow through with the need to prove how right you are.

"Writing is exploration.You start from nothing and learn as you go." ~ E. L. Doctorow

This is so true. With almost anything I'm writing, I follow a specific, fairly methodical process. The systematic order goes something like this:

1. Jot down thoughts and ideas, using specific keywords but avoiding specific phrases
2. Turn the notes into a working outline that represents paragraphs
3. Refine the outline so that each "paragraph" section has enough bullet points for making at least the minimum amount of sentences for a paragraph
4. Using the outline, create a rough (i.e. working) draft of the piece
5. Read aloud, tweaking as necessary

Tada! Spellcheck and grammar problems that MS Word doesn't find are usually picked up in the last step. All the best for a productive writing day!

Becky

"A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow."
- Charlotte Bronte

It's 5:03 A.M. and I've been awake since 6:51 A.M. The plan was to work but upon finding glowing comments from my most recent client, I spent an hour doing absolutely nothing on Facebook. And now I'm too tired to work, so I'm going back to sleep. And I have a hair appointment at 11 A.M. which was scheduled that way on purpose, as the dog has a hair appointment at 10:45 A.M. and I needed to kill some time during her appointment anyway. But for now, it's time to try to settle my mind enough to get at least a short nap. Mmm, naps.

An Alot of Adjectives

As to the adjective, when in doubt, strike it out.  ~Mark Twain

Right now I'm doing some freelance writing jobs that require a specific number of words. The OCD in me says, "NO! Not 401 words, not 397 words, but 400 EXACTLY!" I get a certain thrill when I see the actual word count exactly matches the recommended count without my having to tweak anything. I'm such a nerd that way. So with apologies to Mr. Twain, as to the adjective, most of the time when in doubt about whether or not I'm going to make the word count, I usually leave it in and give it some friends.

On Turning Forty

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. ~ Voltaire

Another milestone captured. Yay, me. My goal was to wake up on my fortieth birthday and NOT be in West Virginia. Now that I've accomplished that, the only thing to do now is close my laptop and spend six hours driving back there.

Here Comes the Sun

"Even though it was six o'clock, there was no sense of approaching dawn." ~ Mary Higgins Clark

It is 6:10 and there is not only a sense of approaching dawn here, but as I type I'm also watching it peek up from the horizon. Its pink and orange fingers stretch out, colorfully creeping into the sky and slowly revealing the majestic ocean, like a curtain rising up to reveal the stage set for the next scene of a play.

Two Great Quotes for One Low Price!

Okay, if you're thinking of pointing out that the quotes are all free so the price isn't relative, yes I am well aware of this.

QUOTE 1 - "To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark." ~ Victor Hugo

QUOTE 2 - "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." ~ C.S. Lewis

These quotes have something in common that some people will notice right away, and some may never recognize unless it is pointed out to them. As it could be one of a few different things, I'll point out the most obvious two and let you choose for yourselves.

The first is that reading, like friendships, lights a fire and provides sparks necessary for survival to our lives. When combining these two quotes it is easy to conclude that as a child some of my best friends were characters from books: beloved Anne Shirley of Green Gables fame, Winnie Foster who spends some time with the beloved Tuck family, and Meg Murry who, along with her brothers, find and save their father who became lost while studying tesseracts, or wrinkles in time. For someone with limited access to similarly aged females in a male dominant family, these characters were truly some of my best childhood friends.

The second is that they both contain a semi-colon.

Happy International Women's Day!

"You are not a hundred dollar bill. Not everyone is going to like you or your story. Do not take rejection personally." ~ Meg Cabot

Today's quote comes from the lovely Meg Cabot. For those of you familiar with the Disney channel, she wrote the Princess Diaries. For those of you too grown up for the Disney Channel but have no idea who she is, try one of her books! They're great chick lit especially with summer right around the corner. (I recently just read "Every Boy's Got One" and loved it.)

But, I digress.

Recently a new client came to me requesting something whimsical and fun. When I provided something to her that even made my husband chuckle, she told me I was off the mark. When I asked for clarification, she informed me that she wanted something that was less comical, and more serious. In fact, she didn't want it to be funny at all. She wanted something dry, with researched examples to back up my statements on the topic. This is totally not what she said when she asked me to do the job.

Even though it was not my fault, I was crushed at the initial rejection. The job was over weeks ago and even though I have been paid and the money has since been spent, she provided no other kind of feedback. I'm sure every author has a client or assignment that haunts them. This whole experience taught me a valuable lesson. Before starting a job, communicate with the client to double check exactly what it is they need.

In the time since, I've gained another wonderful client. He needed a sales pitch and requested a sample of my work, which I provided. His reply went something like this:

"I think I may have asked you for the wrong thing, or used the wrong term for what I need. The type of writing I am looking for is more like...."

And then, without being insulting towards me or my style of writing, he linked me to some examples. And the examples were not sales pitches at all. Within a couple of hours I sent him a new sample, which he completely loved. He's since become one of my most loyal clients and offered me almost more work than I can handle.

However, if I'd pouted myself into quitting after that first rejection, then I'd pretty much be out of a job right now. Instead, I'm on a wonderful vacation with my family and am at this moment on a break between writing assignments, and overlooking the beautiful Atlantic Ocean. In a few moments I'll get back to writing as I budgeted in time to work on this trip, but seriously could I have a better job? I really don't think so.

Whatever it is you plan to do in life, regardless of what dream you choose to follow, if life gives back any kind of rejection...then do not give up. Do not ever, ever, ever give up.

“Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.”

- Maya Angelou

Today's quote is inspired by the fact that one of my boys brought an Agatha Christie book to the beach, while the other brought a pile of automobile-related magazines. It matters much less to me about the content of their choice in reading material, as it does that they're reading at all.

That's Why I Wrote That

...I discovered that if I trusted my subconscious, or imagination, whatever you want to call it, and if I made the characters as real and honest as I could, then no matter how complex the pattern being woven, my subconscious would find ways to tie it together -- often doing things far more complicated and sophisticated than I could with brute conscious effort. I would have ideas for 'nodes', as I think of them -- story or character details that have lots of potential connections to other such nodes -- and even though I didn't quite understand, I would plunk them in. Two hundred pages later, everything would back-fit, and I'd say, "Ah, that's why I wrote that." - Tad Williams

I just recently re-read The Dragonbone Chair, the first book in his Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn trilogy. While reading, I found myself just as enraptured with the different story lines and how they fit together within the overall plot as I was the first time I read it back in 1990.

Like perusing a scrapbook from the past, reading this book brought up memories from that earlier time in my life. I love Tad Williams, and have since I was first introduced to him by my first serious boyfriend, who I met shortly after the breakup between myself and the date to my senior high school prom, who had a name quite similar to that of the author. (It was probably the only reason I agreed to read the book in the first place.)

This new boyfriend was nothing like the prom date boyfriend. Where the prom date was tall and athletic, the new boyfriend was short and muscular. The prom date knew the ins and outs of an automobile engine like girls know how to apply mascara and walk in heels, while the new boyfriend's vehicle broke down frequently, often leaving us stranded and breaking curfew. Where the prom date was obsessed with things like NFL and hunting, the new boyfriend was a passive intellectual.

While re-reading The Dragonbone Chair, I wistfully reflected back on my relationship with the young man who let me borrow his copy - a huge deal in the world of book lovers. I wondered where he might be now, but not enough to look him up. There are many things I do not know about life and relationships, but I know to leave that door to my past closed and locked with several deadbolts.

That boyfriend and I, for a variety of reasons, didn't make it past the second book in the series. Upon reaching the end I slipped it into the mail even though he lived just a few miles from my parents' home. By the time the third was released in 1993, we were barely speaking and it was too awkward for me to ask to borrow his copy. Finding a library with one to loan took months, but it was well worth the wait.

Stone of Farewell and To Green Angel Tower, which are respectively the second and third books in the trilogy, are on my 2012 reading list. I look forward to long afternoons revisiting the characters and following along with their adventures. If you've never read the series and are a fan of fantasy series books like Lord of the Rings and The Wheel of Time, then you may find yourself a fan of Tad Williams, too.

"Look at that sea, girls--all silver and shadow and vision of things not seen. We couldn't enjoy its loveliness any more if we had millions of dollars and ropes of diamonds."
- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because today I am at the sea, I wanted a quote that would reflect it. And because I absolutely love Anne of Green Gables, and she instilled in me a sense of romantic, happy endings that couldn't compare to thousands of Harlequin romance books sneaked from the box beneath my parents' bed, today's quote is from Miss Shirley herself, care of Lucy Maud Montgomery.

That Other Road

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by, 
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Because I'm often fond of travelling the road less taken, today's quote is from the handsome Mister Frost. I've never seen his picture, but I know he is handsome regardless of his physical appearance due to the words he penned throughout his life.

Too often people let themselves be herded like sheep through life. With everything a person has to deal with in a day's time it's sometimes easier to let others think for them. How lazy...how boring! Sure, I'm sometimes guilty of this but I can't imagine doing it my entire life. Josh Kornfield, columnist for the Miami Hurricane agrees, "There is no denying that humanity is like a giant flock of sheep. Fads, rituals and traditions regulate our day-to-day existence. I believe our irrational tendency to kowtow to social norms condemns many of us to live less fulfilling lives than we could potentially live."

The road less taken has led me to where I am right now - living in a former hunting cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains, where I am home school teacher to my two teenage sons, wife to my firefighter husband, and lately, freelance author. The best part about this lifestyle is that at any time we can pack a bag and hit the road to explore other roads less traveled, quite literally, without sacrificing our daily education or work requirements.

And that really has made all the difference.

You Can Quote Me on That!

For March, since it's my birthday month and I love love LOVE to read, I'm going to quote a different author every day. The first is Stephen King, who I would like to thank for getting me through the middle and high school years. Reading about things more weird and horrific than my own angst-filled existence made me feel almost...dare I say it?...normal.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out.

Talent in cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

Okay, so I lied - it's three quotes. Honestly, I don't read much Stephen King any more. I don't know if I just grew up, or outgrew his stories. From what I've read about him as a person, he doesn't really seem like someone who I'd enjoy knowing - which may be part of it, too. But then again, sometimes I don't really seem like someone who I'd enjoy knowing, either. I did watch Bag of Bones on Netflix last weekend and I have to say, it was every bit as creepily wonderful as the book.

One down, thirty to go!