You Won’t Find Edward In Aetolia : Debunking Common Twi-Hard Myths

Okay, I lied. You will find Edward in the RPG game Aetolia! And he was born on 22nd of Arios, year 106 of the Midnight Age. However, it’s unlikely that he fits the profile of the popular Twilight character in Stephanie Meyer’s books. It’s doubtful that he’ll play hero to your Bella Swan. And it’s pretty much a guarantee that he won’t sparkle in sunlight, either! (Unless his skin is popping and crackling; then it might sparkle just a little.)

Since the release of bloodthirsty characters like Nosferatu and Dracula into early 1900’s fiction, brooding blokes and broads alike have lusted after the idea of an immortality spent sleeping in coffins by day and stalking prey by night. Aetolia, a popular roleplaying game from Iron Realms Entertainment, satisfies the iconic definition of a vampire with unique twists to avoid being just another cliche!

TWI-HARD MYTH: Vampires sparkle in sunlight.
AETOLIA TRUTH: No they don’t! A real vampire walking out in daylight yields terrible effects, worse than any mortal sun allergy. They can include dizziness, fire, and maybe even death! In the RPG game Aetolia, the choice to become a vampire means giving up the sun’s rays in exchange for immortality. Lucky for members of the Consanguine, the game has a configuration that turns all otherwise white text a somber grey hue from the moment darkness falls until dawn’s first light!

TWI-HARD MYTH: Vampires don’t need fangs, just strong, piercing teeth.
AETOLIA TRUTH: Like it or not, if you’re roleplaying a vampire in Aetolia then you’re getting a new pair of deadly sharp, pearly whites! Teeth won’t be your primary weapon in this RPG game; your fingers will end in deadly claws! With a low hiss, vampires in Aetolia launch towards their victims and use their claws to batter the poor individuals in a frenzied flurry of strikes.

TWI-HARD MYTH: Vampires can’t turn into other creatures.
AETOLIA TRUTH: Want to bet on that one? Aetolia vampires can turn into several forms -- bats, wolves, or even an ethereal mist! While each form limits the RPG player’s abilities, the form of the bat gives otherwise non-flying races the power to travel on currents of air; and the ethereal form renders them immune to most attacks as well as the effects of sunlight in the game!

TWI-HARD MYTH: Vampires each have an unique ability.
AETOLIA TRUTH: The uniqueness of these RPG game vampires is limited to their physical descriptions and personality traits. While there may be some fluctuation in how potent a skill is, basic powers like breathing underwater, regenerating health more quickly in a graveyard, and having slightly reduced bleeding damage are traits common to all undead.

TWI-HARD MYTH: Vampires only need to feed twice a month to keep hunger under control.
AETOLIA TRUTH: In the RPG game Aetolia, vampires only need to feed as necessary. Most combat attacks require the use of blood, so it’s primarily the combat-heavy ones will feel the need to feed more often. If you have a way to self-regenerate blood and aren’t really into physical prowess, you could potentially go for quite some time without having to feed!

Having sacrificed their souls for the dark magics of blood and forsaken the ability to feel sunlight on their skin without severe pain, vampires in the RPG game Aetolia lean more towards the characters of Bram Stoker and Ann Rice than the ones Stephanie Meyer introduced to the world. While the idea of a “light vampire” has its merits, don’t be disappointed if your first trip into Aetolia finds you alongside characters who are more like Lestat de Lioncourt rather than Edward Cullen.

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Articles about all five games from Iron Realms -- including Aetolia -- are available on their website!

Achaea : A Day in the Life of a Guide

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Better than the most friendly bot, newbie Guides are essential to the addictive games produced by Iron Realms Entertainment! New characters almost always meet a Guide at some point, but who are the people who fill these important roles? For this article I interviewed Romeo*, the most dashing newbie helper in all Achaea.

“So Romeo,” I asked my lifelong crush, “I can’t imagine helping newbies for hours...on purpose. Some people I know avoid them altogether! Why did you become a guide?”

Flashing a grin worthy of a toothpaste commercial, Romeo replied, “Why, to help the newbies, of course!”

“Really?” I tittered, feeling girlish.

With a deep, rumbling laugh he admitted, “No, not really! Someone said it would be easy credits, so I applied.” Easy credits? Before I asked, he grimaced, “And if anyone tells you guiding is an easy way to get credits, they’re lying!”

“It’s a real job, and not always fun,” Romeo patiently explained. “Some things that I thought would be frustrating aren’t, like explaining newbie information repeatedly. New players arrive every day! Even though today I explained properly storing gold and which denizen inducts into what city, I might explain it to different newbies this week. And the week after that. And perhaps every week, for as long as I’m a guide.”

“Why do you keep doing it?” I asked, glancing at my notes to avoid ogling.

Romeo’s eyes sparkled with merriment and he warmly answered, “It might sound cliché, but watching their excitement at progressing, whether gaining a level, or completing a difficult quest...it’s rewarding. No amount of payment compares to that!”

“It sounds like super mentoring,” I grinned. “Do you get any kind of fantastic, godly powers?”

“Not really! There are a few fun abilities, but they’re only there for purpose of teaching RPG game basics to newbies. If we ever used them for anything else, it would anger Divine,” he informed. Seeing the mischief in my smile he sheepishly admitted, “Yes, even Guides suffer Divine punishment. I know one who suffered a zap just last week.” Giggling, I asked who.

“It was Juliet**,” Romeo deadpanned. He chuckled at my expression and added, “Don’t tell her I said that!”

I winked, then playfully teased, “So you just sit in one spot, answering questions with in-game help scrolls? That doesn’t sound any harder than mentoring.”

He shook his head and clarified, “No, we aim to give a basic answer, using the help scroll as a reference point, so they’ll know where to look next time. We aide newbies in the intro tour. Sometimes non-newbies ask questions, and depending on the question and how busy it is, I either answer or point them close to the answer. During down time, sometimes Juliet or I play games with the newbies, mostly quizzes or treasure hunts. Those are great to keep us on our toes about newbie information, as much as it teaches them.”

What advice would Romeo give to an IRE-addict aspiring to Guide newbies? “Do things as your character that show you are newbie-friendly. Listen to the newbie channel, especially when QWHO fails to display a guide in the realm. If you’re a mentor and can answer a question, don’t be afraid to reply when Juliet and I are at rest.”

He paused, then added, “And if Juliet or I, or any of the other IRE guides, answer wrong or seem snippy, it’s nothing personal! We have things going on behind the scenes and lives outside of the game just like everyone else. We’re eternally grateful for patient RPG players who catch us in those moments, but overall we try to approach the job with the best possible attitude.”

My last question was to ask, what kind of RPG player makes the ideal guide? Romeo smiled softly, “Someone who is patient, and can appear cheerful and calm under pressure; can handle prioritizing when multiple newbies ask for help at once so each receives it; and can answer basic newbie questions without having to look it up every single time. And Penelope?”

“Yes, Romeo?”

He winked and whispered, as if reading my mind, “I think you’d make a lovely Juliet.”

I blushed.

* not his real name
** not her real name, either

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Read articles about all the Iron Realms games on their website!

Zork Inspired Addicting Games by Iron Realms

This picture totally belongs to someone else, but it was too freakin' cool not to share.
I mean -- it's Zork! What's not to love?

One summer, my younger brothers introduced me to an addicting game: Zork, one of the first interactive text adventure games for personal computers. I watched and harassed them each time they missed even one obvious clue! When they challenged me to try, I quickly accepted. Little did I know that typing OPEN MAILBOX would begin a lifelong affair with text adventure games! Each had the same basic premise. Respond to textual descriptions, whether canned or player directed, by typing commands. Here are the ones that stand out in my memory:

ZORK

 The birth of interactive fiction, Zork is the addicting game where it all began! Written by some MIT students, the name came from hacker slang meaning “unfinished program.” Not just a text game, Zork features high quality storytelling and has all the basics -- search for wealth, darling adventure, exotic creatures, diabolical puzzles, and more! Since Zork became available to the public in 1980, two sequels and a book series followed the Great Underground Empire. Its popularity is such that an original version of Zork appeared as a hidden ‘easter egg’ in Call of Duty: Black Ops in November, 2010.

ADVENTURELAND

 The game packaging read something like this: “You wander through an enchanted world trying to recover the 13 lost treasures...Can you rescue the Blue Ox from the quicksand? Or find your way out of the maze of pits? Happy Adventuring...” On the heels of Zork came Adventureland. Author Scott Adams (no, not the Dilbert guy) claims he created it in a single month! He broke new ground in the gaming world taking out advertisements and selling Adventureland for use on personal computers. From his first humble retail order of fifty games placed by a Radio Shack in Chicago, Scott Adams went on to found his own company to distribute other addicting games, both new full-scale graphic ones and re-releases of formerly distributed text games!

ROGUE

 The first computer graphics involved something called “cursor addressing,” allowing programs to put a letters, numbers, and symbols at specific places on the computer screen to simulate graphics. Michael Toy and Glenn Wichman, a pair of students in Santa Cruz, California and no strangers to addicting games, used the new program to try to make a new kind of computer game. And thus, Rogue was born! The difference between Rogue and previous text games was a lack of canned adventures. Says Wichman in his personal account of the addicting game’s roots, “We decided that with Rogue, the program itself should "build the dungeon", giving you a new adventure every time you played, and making it possible for even the creators to be surprised by the game.”

KING'S QUEST

 Pulling characters from multiple genres of fantasy, players of this addicting game are as likely to run into Rumpelstiltskin as Count Dracula! King’s Quest was the first game to really take advantage of the inventory system. Adding to the “take anything that isn’t nailed down” mindset, one player quoted in Wikipedia added, “...if it is nailed down, look for loose nails, or solve the nail-removing puzzle.” The game featured abilities like mapping, and using senses to gather more information! King’s Quest and its sequels boasted elaborate story lines, complicated puzzles, and well-developed denizen characters. Of all early textual games King’s Quest was most like the addicting games produced by Iron Realms that we know and love today!

Graphics-heavy games like Gears of War 3 are nice, but the re-release and remakes of legendary addicting games like the ones above proves that deep down, all players really want are a set of polyhedral dice and some graph paper to choose their own adventures. That’s the beauty of interactive fiction, especially in the form of addicting games produced by Iron Realms! Massively’s Seth Brown sums it up nicely: “I don't think there can be an easily described favorite memory from the MUD I played predominantly: Lusternia, an Iron Realms Entertainment MUD. I played it for roughly five years nearly every day and the best experiences were often caused by playing in a real, living world rather than a single notable event...if you're looking for a challenge in PvP, play an IRE MUD."

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read the original publication of this article and more like it on the Iron Realms website!

Authentic Crafting for the Role-play Environment

People have made virtual fortunes in RPG settings just by designing different types of things people use every day. The main reason for this is because many people who play these games are terrible writers. That’s right! Text-based role-playing games attract players with poor writing skills. Oh sure, they can pass it off as a bad accent while speaking aloud in the game and some of the more terrible accents even carry over into literature; but when it comes to describing themselves or their personal homes, look out!

(Pay attention, those of you who did well in "real life" spelling and grammar classes. These tips on enhancing role play are just for you!)

Materials
Look to unique cultural and social references when choosing materials for your designs, regardless of its type. Perhaps use the naturally patterned hide of an okapi for a leather jacket; smother bites of succulent xabat meat in a reddish-orange marinade that hearkens to the hue of the animal's scales; or craft a bone golem armband, the design featuring tiny replicas of the creature. Sure, there might be things like these examples but adding that little touch of Achaean-ness will give your designs the extra edge!

Geographic References
If the real world fashonistas can wear Italian leather pumps, why can't Achaeans have similar versions crafted from Jaru leather? Whether you're designing for your own amusement or to satisfy a commissioned project, wander to various geographic areas and really look around. Take a closer look at both the room itself and everything located there from animals to unique items. (Sadly, it could be the only time an adventurer stops to read the verbose descriptions.) Referencing the native lands and people found in a role play game are almost a guarantee to get your designs noticed!

Consider Your Audience
A pair of trousers might accommodate the tails of feline or reptilian races. Modify a crown or diadem to allow for ears or horns. A siren's blouse may need extra space in the torso for... well, you know. Be unique, but not so odd that your design isn’t desirable to others. Believe it or not, it’s entirely possible that everyone in your role play game of choice in fact does not want to buy a pair of pink and lime plaid skinny trousers!

Be Descriptive
For the love of role play everywhere, pull out the thesaurus and use synonyms for overused adjectives and adverbs. “Many” can be described as “a copious amount”. “Varied” can be described as “multifarious”. Be careful, because using words that are either too archaic or obscure can actually repel the average role play gaming enthusiast. Find a happy medium between boringly bland and garishly creative and you’re guaranteed to attract a wider audience!

Inspiration from Real Life
Allergic to chocolate? Unable to afford those pumps designed by Louis Vuitton? In the time it takes to describe an item and earn the virtual gold to pay the Crafting Union fees, your role-playing game’s alter-ego can stock its inventory with similar, virtual versions. Better yet, you can customise them so that not only do they suit the personal taste and style of the character, but also they are even more legitimate in the virtual realm that inspired them!

Even if your character lacks the skills required to crafting in a role play game setting, consider a career as a designer. It only requires your imagination and a good sense of spelling and grammar. At the very worst, people will dislike your designs and you’ll go back to wandering the city and kicking rats to earn your bread and butter. Pull up a new notepad window, open www.thesaurus.com and give it a shot!

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Read more articles like this one on the Achaea website!

5 Helpful Hints for Bardic Entries

Iron Realms Entertainment not only offers a variety of RPG games, but it also provides opportunities for players to win game credits that can be used to boost a character’s stats or buy coveted artefacts that do everything from give instant travel abilities to hide a character’s name and location from most of the other players.

 

Use Notepad

Sure, it lacks ways to spellcheck and count how many words your entry has, but it’s free! And it’s one of the only way to successfully transfer anything you write into the editors built into Iron Realms role playing games -- as well as the website version that accepts Bardic entries. Use any other program at your own risk. Don’t say you weren’t warned!

 

Double-check Your Spelling

“But wait!” You’re thinking, “You just told me notepad doesn’t have spellcheck!” While this is true, you can copy and paste your entry into an empty Google Docs or Microsoft Word page to see glaring spelling errors. Don’t worry so much about grammar. Fortunately the judges are real people like you and me playing the part of a Divine character in a role play game setting, and not your high school grammar teacher!*

 

Use Proper Grammar

I know, I know. I just said don’t worry so much about grammar, right? That’s not entirely true. Do you like communicating with people who use shoddy speech? I sure don’t! Whether in real life or in a role playing game, they’re just difficult to understand. The same bears true for literature. While it’s unnecessary to apply every last rule on the Wikipedia article titled English grammar to your entry, try to avoid glaring errors.

 

Add a Clever Literary Twist

If you’ve ever come to the end of a story or poem and thought, “Wow, I never saw that coming!” then you aren’t alone. Use the events preceding the end to build up to a heart-wrenching climax and then BAM! For instance, have a thief slip away unnoticed, pockets filled with spoils. Perhaps the assassin finds himself blending in with a throng of onlookers gaping at the hero’s mutilated form and pretending to be ignorant of what just happened. Maybe the princess, instead of running off with the handsome knight, finds her happily-ever-after in the arms of ... his sister? And if it looks like people might be on to you, surprise them by going with the original ending or better yet, leave the piece open for a sequel.

 

Flatter a Divine (or Several Divine)

Sometimes, being distinctly Achaean isn’t enough on its own for being noticed in the Bardics. Flattering the upper echelon isn’t exactly a new tactic. Writers have been doing this since before Shakespeare flattered King James I in his play, The Tragedy of Macbeth. But who doesn’t like having their ego stroked, even in a role playing game? Now I can’t speak for the officials, but I were judging the contest, I’d vote for something that flattered me!

 

There’s no guarantee that your literary talents for writing RPG game based content will get noticed in the Achaean Bardic competition, even if you follow every one of the above tips to the letter. If your entries aren’t winning and you haven’t been trying any of the above, what have you got to lose? If you try and aren’t noticed, try re-reading and see where you can improve. Have a friend (or a few friends) read over it and consider their suggestions. No matter what tips and tricks you apply to an edited draft of a losing entry remember -- there’s nothing saying you can’t enter a losing entry multiple times until it gets a prize!

 

*Any similarity between the Divine character(s) in your role play game setting of choice and your high school grammar teacher is merely coincidental.

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read the original publication of this article and more like it on the Achaea website.

5 Surefire Ways to Fail in Leadership

Everyone who has never been a leader of an organisation has a secret list of things they would do if they ever had the chance to be in charge. Not everyone realizes or even admits to having one, but really. They do. We all do. If the following show up on your list then work quickly, as you may find yourself out the door before you really get started.

Assume everyone is on your side.Even if you win by a landslide, it’s no guarantee that every single person voted for you. Even if they did, there’s someone envying you right now. Never assume anything. Always watch your back, because nobody is going to watch it for you. Leadership can be a desolate, albeit rewarding existence. If you find yourself lonely and in need of companionship, buy a pet.

Use an organisation’s accounts to fund your personal ventures.With all these new bank accounts at your disposal now you can polish off everything on your wish list, right? Wrong! The organisation will miss the funds thanks to automatic messages sent to other high-ranking members. If you plan to pilfer funds then do it right with some creative bookkeeping. Start paying yourself for chores associated with your position, and don’t skimp on it! They can afford you, and you're worth it.

Make new rules. Change them again. Then change them back.Rules are made to be broken, not changed. Too much change gives the organisation an air of instability. If leaders don’t know what they want from their members, how are members supposed to give leaders what they want? On this same note, don’t punish the entire membership for the misdeeds of one person. If something isn’t broken, it’s almost guaranteed that a leader will break it in the process of trying to fix it. Sit back and assess the state of the organisation. Make a list of things that need change, and spend some time marking which are priorities and which allow a more slack transition. 

Romance the lesser ranks.There's nothing wrong with an age difference between two halves of a couple, but when the gap exists between higher and lower ranking members, it can only cause trouble. Besides the obvious problems like gossip, jealousy and resentment from the other members, organisational rpg romance can also carry long-term effects. If things don't work out a break-up could lead to future awkward situations. If the other lower ranking member is already involved with someone, it could lead to a lot of unnecessary drama if the details came out. As leader, your actions could trickle into the lives of other members and create a hostile work environment. Is that really how you’d like to be remembered?

Attitude is everything.So many different things affect the tenure of a leader. A primary one is the head of the organisation's attitude. If you are a leader who is positive and tries to see the bright side of situations whenever possible, that attitude will rub off on the other members. Try to be enthusiastic and don’t ask others to do a job you're not willing to do yourself. On the other side of the coin, if you have a negative attitude, focus on the worst possible outcome happening in situations, face each day with dismal apathy and push all the hard work off onto other people, expect to find yourself voted out of the position, and perhaps even organisation itself. 

Even the best of leaders can make mistakes, including the ones listed above. The best plan of attack when you find yourself on the path to failure is to pause, contemplate, prioritize and if necessary apologize. And no matter what happens, be honest with everyone -- especially with yourself.

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read the original publication of this article and more like it on the Achaea website!

Making the Best of a Bad Reputation

People form reputations about things based on the footprints they create. Footprints exist in almost every aspect of life, whether virtual or literal. When visiting the ocean, footprints stay behind in the sand. Some say that using plastic grocery bags contributes to environmental carbon footprints. Even the computer you’re using to read this article leaves something called a desktop footprint. Which brings us to the most important type of footprint of all -- the ones our characters create in a role play setting.

The Gossip
You've heard a juicy secret, and know it's because you heard it from your best friend’s boyfriend’s step-mother’s bloodlined half-sister’s clan leader’s daughter. And she would never lie. When this happens, just nip it in the bud. Reply that you aren’t interested in the information (even if you really are). And if you have the urge to spread gossip, don't. Remember -- those who gossip with you, are the first to gossip about you. But if life finds you being labelled a gossip, put it to good use. Gather all those secrets together in a volume and sell it to the highest bidder. (Just don’t forget to save a copy for yourself!)

The Sexual Deviant
Every organisation has one. (Cyrene has at least three. Possibly four.) Even if you’re as pure as Vashnarian snow, use common sense. If you dress the part, then expect people to talk about you. While it's possible to both dress in a sexy way and be seen as a classy person, regardless of race or gender, it's far easier to labelled the town strumpet. Should you fall victim to this, consider a career in designing appropriately themed fashion or culinary items. If crafters touting themselves as total prudes can earn coin in that way, then why can't you?

The Know-It-All
Psst. If people call you this, it isn’t because you really know everything, and they don’t exactly mean it as a compliment. No one will fault you if you aren’t first to answer every question asked on public channels, or don't offer help to those in need. If this is your life's misdeed, try taking up a hobby instead. The lepidopterist beneath the archway to Minia accepts help from adventurers of all ages.

The Enemy
This isn't necessarily someone found in a formal list of enemies. It could be someone listed as a fellow organisational member, or even a bloodlined family member. The stabbing pain that occurs between your shoulders any time you turn your back will alert you to them. If it turns out that the enemy is you, then it’s best to burn as many bridges as possible. It's doubtful that you'll need them later anyway.

The Brown-Noser
When it comes to helping those in power, these folk may as well don a red cape because they are the superheroes of kissing up. When entrusted with even the simplest of tasks, they go above and beyond doing extra work wherever possible. They pay attention to small details, using the information to make life easier for those in leadership. If this is you, pay petty comments from others no mind at all. They're just jealous they didn't think of it first.

Stereotypes are often a miserable aspect of social behaviour. If you are a target of someone else's negative social label, consider the chance that you could be doing something that lends a ring of truth to the cliché. However, there’s a greater chance that the person suffers from a terrible affliction known as petty jealousy. If you ventured into a text-based realm hoping to escape them then you’re out of luck. These sad folk exist in every domain. If trying to work things out with them doesn't work then kill them with kindness. Be nice to them until they just can't take it anymore, give up, and leave you alone in favour of picking on a new target.

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Enjoy this article? Read more like it on the Iron Realms website!

An Iron Realms Credit Card from the Delos Credit Union?

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Email me for more information.

While in Game Stop last weekend I overheard two store employees discussing the Gears of War 3 Retro Lancer. Despite being completely hooked on and spending most of my time in the addicting games produced by Iron Realms, even I recognized the name of this rather epic piece of weaponry. What caught my attention was this -- the point of their discussion wasn’t how much damage it could do in real life or how it might benefit soldiers in times of real war, but how much it would cost in ... Pokemon dollars.

I know, right? I thought the same thing! If it could be purchased in Pokemon dollars, why couldn’t it be purchased in online currency such as Iron Realms credits? On the drive home, everything I saw had me considering a credit to dollar exchange rate. How much would fast food cost in credits? Or my favorite pizza? Or even some big-ticket items like a new computer...or a new car! Once home, I immediately pulled my laptop from hibernation mode and visited the page detailing credit purchases for Iron Realms games, then worked out the exchange. The mean price for one credit, using all available packages on the website, is about thirty-five cents.

Iron Realms Credit Card

Given the exchange, a glass of sweet tea from the McDonald’s dollar menu would run about three credits. Know what that means? My typical lunch of a McChicken sandwich, iced tea, and a dollar fries would cost roughly nine credits. I could bash up the gold to buy lunch every day with no problem! And if I wanted to splurge and get a large Pepperoni Lover’s pie from Pizza Hut, it would cost around 29cr. Not too shabby, especially if splitting the cost with friends.

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I admit to being hooked on these addicting games, but polling players from all five of the ones produced by Iron Realms showed that I’m not alone. Each one of them agreed that if the option existed, playing an online game for the purpose of buying things in real life would only make them want to play more! Here is the exchange rate breakdown of some other items, based on what other players said they’d purchase if credits were a legitimate commodity for real life. (You’ll find prices rounded up to the nearest whole monetary unit.)

As you can see from the list, some of the items are practical, while others would take ages to save up for, regardless of the commodity used to buy them. In a perfect world, people who play the addicting games from Iron Realms would be able to use in-game gold and credits to play for whatever they desired in real life. I certainly wouldn’t mind it! Until my dream of a wifi connection that spreads to the furthest reaches of a private island comes true, you’ll find me bashing up a stockpile of credits in my favorite addicting game from Iron Realms. Hope to see you there!

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain.

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read the original publication of this article and more like it on the Iron Realms website!

Necessary Literature for When Fantasy and Reality Combine

Let’s face it, with the way things are going in the world today it’s only a matter of time before it happens. Eventually some brainiac scientist is going to create some nifty gadget that lets us bring all of our dreams to life, or even worse -- all of our roleplay adventures. That’s fine and dandy but what happens when we become the victim in someone else’s bad situation?

Never fear, my fellow gamers, for there is literature to help us! You won’t find these trusty volumes in any library or bookstore that you’ve ever visited before. Below is a sampling of titles to aid even the lowest-level mage in outlasting an inevitable catastrophe.

Recipes for Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse
Now you might be wondering to yourself, “Why would I, someone whose alter-ego is a skilled chef, going to need this kind of book?” What good is it being a skilled chef if you can’t out and about to gather your ingredients? Or worse yet, to a stove on which to cook? With this book in your inventory, you’ll be dining on gourmet finger food sandwiches and undead haggis for as long as you have the willpower to behead zombies and harvest what’s left of their rotting flesh.

The Druid’s Guide to a Healthy Humgii - Keeping Him Fed and the Oceans Green
Everyone knows that feeding a one of these insatiable creatures results in polluting the ocean floor, but this handy-dandy guide reveals secrets for keeping the critter’s appetite under control without sacrificing the world’s supply of saltwater. With all the other drama that can happen when words collide, who needs to risk being enemied to the forests on top of it all?

Taming Your Teenager - Helm of Telepathy Instructions for Paranoid Parents
Is your daughter spending a little too much time in her room, wasting hours upon hours on telepathic conversation with the new satyr down the street? You no longer have to wonder if he’s telling her the size of his horns with this wonderful piece of headgear. Plop it on your noggin and from as close as right outside her door you can eavesdrop on entire conversations. The best part is, your know-it-all teenager has no way to tell when you’re outright spying.

Child Support - Helping Your Child Live with Racial Stereotype
Forget terms like African-American or Middle Easterner, because when fantasy and reality coalesce it’s going to open up a whole new set of problems. Let’s say your half-dwarf daughter hits puberty and finds her chin sporting a beard that rival’s Aunt Tilly’s. Forget shaving or waxing, because this trusty tome offers better advice. Bling it out, and teach her a bit of bi-racial heritage pride!

Alternate Lifestyles - A  Embracing Multiple Personalities
It doesn’t really matter if you’re a third year university student preparing to switch majors for the fourth time or a high school dropout working nights at the local convenience store, when fantasy meets reality everyone will have equal chance for fame and fortune. Unwilling to give up your current lifestyle and go for it? No worries! This is where alternative characters (also known as “alts”) are most convenient. Welcome to the world of living out your every last fantasy without ever having to accept the consequences or repercussions that follow.

This is just a sampling of literature available should your roleplay adventures and real life ever combine. No longer will we be referred to in terms such as “geek”, “nerd”, “dweeb”, “goober”, or “weirdo”. Everyone who ever made fun of you for spending weekends LARPing in the park with your friends will find themselves on the short end of the stick. Like I said before, the way things are going in the world today it’s only a matter of time.

Written by Becky James as Penelope Swain.

Read other articles like this on the Iron Realms website!

Addicting Games: Is the Iron Elite For You?

One of the most frequently asked questions about the addicting games produced by Iron Realms is this: How much does it cost to play? These addicting games are actually free to play. Absolutely FREE! Forever and ever, no strings attached. Every player in each of the totally addicting games by Iron Realms has equal opportunity for their character to gain the highest level of experience, skill learning, etcetera as the next one.

While some are content to earn everything from within the game, never using outside resources to benefit from extra bonus features, other players desire to significantly improve the characters they play at an accelerated rate. Players of such addicting games are most likely to benefit from an Iron Elite membership, a subscription program that provides special services including daily lessons, monthly credits, a permanent credit bonus, and increased XP gain! Even if you aren’t an addict, besides the obvious perks the subscription program has several other appealing factors.

Addicting Games With No Reward Overload

Other companies make the mistake of bogging their patrons down with rewards overload! Or worse, they require recurring or minimum purchases for a lame prize at the end of the promotion. Some companies are able to find a happy medium between offering a discount and awarding recurring purchases with prizes. For instance, my local convenience store introduced a frozen Arctic Rush Mountain Dew over the summer. Every time I filled my car up with gas I was buying one. So when they began a promotion that not only offered a discount on the drink, but gave me each eleventh one perfectly free, of course I signed up. It’s a win-win.

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The cool thing is, an Iron Elite subscription isn’t that much different. It delivers instant gratification every month with a constant stream of bonuses for both the players and their characters. Each RPG player who subscribes to the addicting games enjoys the same basic package of benefits, adding up to a near forty percent discount on the value of credits alone. Long-term Iron Elite members also enjoy cumulative bonuses that reward with an automatic increase in monthly benefits.

No Hidden Fees Equals Cool Games

The cost to participate in the Iron Elite program is a flat rate of $24.99 per month. But wait, there has to be a charge for transferring credits between characters, or for cancelling early, right? Wrong! Do the RPG games make up for it by nerfing realm-wide credit or other promotional sales? No way! The boon is that these rewards stack with realm-wide promotions like credit sales and experience-gaining events like PvP combat tournaments and realm-wide hunting adventures. And it’s just one charge per month. That’s it!  

The only thing Iron Realms asks in return is this -- play fair. Don’t be a cheater and abuse their policies.  Don’t abuse the Elite membership and ruin it for other Iron Elite members. Few can argue with that kind of logic.

No secrets in the fine print

All information about Iron Elite subscriptions is spelled out both on the website and as a help scroll in each of the addicting games. Advantages to help develop your character as well as additional benefits from any promotions Iron Realms Entertainment offers are fully detailed! Lesson, credit, and experience bonuses are each clearly explained in their own subsection within the informational articles. And if players still have questions, Jeremy Saunders, president of Iron Realms Entertainment, invites them to email him personally! And best of all, unlike some other gaming companies, downloading any kind of extra system to play is completely optional. For those who wish to go this route, Iron Realms even goes above and beyond, providing support  for using them!

You may be thinking, so what’s the catch? There are no catches or obligations! Players asked for a way to expedite ways to enjoy skills and addicting game content afforded at the higher levels, but without spending a real life fortune on in-game currency. Iron Realms showed they were listening and delivered this rather lucrative opportunity that respects the sagging economy at an affordable monthly fee.

The next time you make a few bucks from an eBay purchase or you find yourself with birthday loot, why not treat yourself to a month’s membership in the Iron Elite program? Regardless of which addicting games you play, after signing up for the first month of membership payment is recurring until the player cancels the Iron Elite subscription. Whether you're new to the many addicting games produced by Iron Realms, why not try it for a month? For less than the cost of a tank of fuel you play with exclusive perks and still afford lunch off your favorite dollar menu!

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read this article and more like it on the Iron Realms website!

Text Games: A Behind the Scene's Look at Mortal BuildingI

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 In most addicting games, building new areas involves becoming a staff-level character. Iron Realms sheds the exclusivity of game design, offering equal opportunity to all players! For this article, I sat down with Daphne* (not her real name), a game area builder with several years’ worth of experience. My first question was, what inspired her to apply in the first place?

 “I’m really anal about spelling and grammar,” Daphne laughed before adding, “but really, I love to write and wanted to fine-tune my abilities. I’ve met other builders in the game who joined for similar reasons. The first application I submitted was without any proofreading on my part, and they turned me down flat. What a HUGE blow to my ego! My third attempt was much more successful. Iron Realms isn’t kidding about applicants submitting error-free room descriptions.”

 

 Daphne explained that, once selected, text gamers accepted into the building program sign a strict non-disclosure agreement prohibiting them from discussing projects with anyone, even other builders or the Divine! I couldn’t imagine working alone in seclusion, or putting hours into a project without getting any kind of recognition in return.

 “Because my character in the game holds membership in many organizations, I actually welcome the seclusion and anonymity building provides. It’s a nice break. I don’t mind collaborating with other builders in the game, but I can work faster alone. And I know all the details about my area, whether it’s a serene landscape or a dank cavern. For instance, a rainbow llama farm east of a highway is likely visible from a hill to the west,” she stopped and chuckled. “That probably sounds crazy outside an RPG environment. Even though a lot of players claim that they don’t even read room descriptions in the text game, I smile when hearing favorable comments about something I wrote. But typos are a different story altogether!”

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 Just how forgiving are Divine about a builder’s spelling or grammar mistakes?  “New builders start as apprentices, and the Divine are both patient and forgiving. I quickly learned the best way to avoid having my work corrected multiple times, was to adopt better writing habits in the first place. It’s made me a better writer in other areas of life outside the game. I feel bad for the Celani who had to pick apart my early work, though. It was pretty terrible compared to current building guidelines.”

 Although given permission to talk about being a text game builder, Daphne refrained from sharing certain details. “I’ve done everything from writing basic item descriptions to using an Orb of Creation to build my own, unique area. I’ve worked on sections for places that considered my text game character an enemy, to the village where she’s a citizen. The challenge and variety are awesome, especially since it’s completely in text. I am working on something new,” she admitted with a wink. “But all I’ll say is that it offers equal opportunity for roleplay, hunting, and questing.”

 As with guides, mortal builders receive payment for their work in the form of credits, the amount proportional to how complex the project is. “I’d have applied for mortal building even if there was no payment involved,” Daphne reflected. “It’s been an incredible opportunity, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The first time I saw changes I’d made go live in the text game, I felt a little swell of pride. Even though nobody knew it was my work, just knowing that I was able to give something back to a game I love is my biggest addiction...being able to make a genuine, positive impact on the text game itself...that’s the best reward.”

 “Like most things, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. If you’re only applying as a way to get credits or hope for recognition, then don’t be surprised if you wind up disappointed or fizzle out of the program. Builders who last are the ones who enjoy building just for the sake of building, regardless of whether they receive payment or acknowledgment for their work or not.”

 Many thanks to Daphne and all the mortal builders, mortal and Divine, past and present, who lend their own unique touches to the complex environment of Iron Realms array of addicting games!

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read this article on the Iron Realms website!

The 10 Commandments of Steve Jobs Applied to Text Games

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Less than two weeks after announcing his resignation as Apple’s CEO, Newsweek magazine published an article titled, “The 10 Commandments of Steve.” Employers everywhere are using the infographic as a suggestion for improving their own business. However, Iron Realms has been using the same processes attributed to Steve Jobs’s creative genius since they released Achaea in 1997!

1. Go for perfect

 Iron Realms Entertainment doesn’t expect perfection, but it does hold crafters to a high standard. One Achaea text gamer offered, “It’s crazy! My high school English teachers weren’t this strict. At first it was discouraging. It’s just a dress for my character in a RPG game; so who cares if the grammar is a little off? They care. But their caring has made me care more about how I present myself outside the text game, even on Facebook!”

2. Tap the experts

 Iron Realms doesn’t look for outsiders to play Divine characters in their MUDs. Each offers a process that allows text game characters equal chances for promotion, whether stepping into the role of a Guide to help the newbies, or being elevated to full God status! The result is an administrative team familiar with the basic ins and outs of text game details and mechanics.

3. Be ruthless

 If something isn’t working out, scrap it and move on. The Iron Realms rpg games have followed this practice over the years -- even when a Divine Character has run its course! More recently, IRE began testing a Digg system to replace its former word-of-mouth advertising via TopMudSites (which was bought out by Aardwolf MUD).

4. Shun focus groups

 Jobs says, “People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.” That doesn’t mean shunning suggestions! Tracking player feedback lets producers know what’s working, and what needs tweaked. Each of the MUDs associated with Iron Realms Entertainment allows feedback about the text game to be offered through communication  not only between players, but also between players and administrators.

5. Never stop studying

 In addition to listening to what players have to say on the forums, they also include a system for reporting bugs, typos, and ideas. A large player base has potential for hundreds, even thousands, of things to be reported daily! The end result is that Administrators can more easily fix bugs and typos, and perhaps even implement an idea or two!

6. Simplify

 Text. It doesn’t get any more simple! The graphics in Guild Wars might compare to art hanging in the Louvre, but how does inspire the imagination? IRE games are a better choice over graphic MMORPGs because they push text game characters to comprehend the rpg game, making decisions that directly impact character background and development!

7. Keep your secrets

 Mortal Builders, the players assigned with updating current areas and building new ones, are required to sign and provide a hard copy of a nondisclosure agreement. These people agree not to discuss new areas with anyone, neither fellow mortal builders nor Divine characters in the text game!

8. Keep teams small

 Mortal characters in the RPG Achaea can apply to become Celani, a kind of Divine-in-training position. Celani are promoted to Demigods, who in turn can be promoted to full God status! Instead of creating new Divine characters when people are promoted, the administrators promote Demigods into the roles of dormant, current Gods. This allows for clockwork-like operations that keep the text game free for everyone!

9. Use more carrot than stick

 People don’t invest in things they don’t like! When the admins are enthusiastic, that feeling trickles down to the players.

10. Prototype to the extreme

 Pre-planning new areas, creating items players will need for various situations, and implementing tools to ease the transition from newbie to advanced text game characters are just a few of the ways IRE helps make their RPG games more player-friendly. One person commented, “I love when a new area opens! Unlike in some other text games, I can play without being distracted by glaring typos or pause my hunting or questing to report a bug.”

There’s no doubt that Iron Realms has revolutionized text games. By staying true to an uncomplicated platform they’ve developed a loyal player base that has withstood the test of time!

Written by: Becky James as Penelope Swain

Edited by: Tony Celentano

Read this article on the Iron Realms website!