Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Important Words

I'm not making any resolutions for 2013 aside from two goals. The first is to be more organized. As stated in my Facebook status, that ought to be amusing! The second is to continue trying to be a nicer person. 2012 taught me that being a nice person doesn't mean letting people take advantage of me or walk over me. It means respecting myself and just doing the right thing, even if it's doing the right thing for me.

During 2012 I learned a lot about dealing with other people, and according to friends and family they notice a big change in my attitude. They assure me it is a change for the better, and I'm glad. I feel better. Resentment and grudges are gone - or at least slowly heading towards being gone. I've learned a lot about people, and what to say. More importantly, I've learned a little about what not to say.

My new career in freelance writing taught me that sometimes you can say a lot more, by saying a lot less. There are short phrases and important words that convey volumes when used correctly. Here are a few of the ones I've found to be most effective just by using them in 2012, and that I hope to use more in 2013.

I'm Listening - Don't say this if you don't mean it. Sometimes, people just just want someone to listen. They don't want advice. They don't want a story about your experiences. They don't want irrelevant cliches or any of the other things people say when they don't really care to listen. In a world where technology and distractions dictate and dominate what happens in life, sometimes, people just need you to give them your full, undivided attention, and listen to them.

You Do Not Owe Me - Friends and family members tear down relationships every day because of someone owing somebody something else. Money, tangible objects, favors. Wipe away the debt, as much as you can. Just be a nicer person. This doesn't mean throwing your family into debt to save the world, but there is nothing wrong with dropping $1 into the World Hunger jar at your local convenience store or handing a homeless guy a cup of coffee. And if you can do it for strangers, then you should be able to give selflessly to your friends and family, too.

I Care and You Matter - And if you use this phrase, follow it with a reason. I care about you because I just do is lame, and sounds like you don't really mean it. Another lame reason is because we're family. What? If we weren't family and you still knew me, then you wouldn't care about me? Instead try something like I care about you because you bring (this incredibly unique aspect) to my life and without you, my life would be all the worse for it. Whatever your reason, make sure it is honest. People need to hear that others care about them, and that they matter in this world.

So what short phrases have you found make a difference? And what ways will you try to be better in 2013? I'm not talking about starting a diet or going to the gym. It's about just being better on the inside, and letting everything else follow. I'd love to hear lots of comments on this one.

Happy New Year!
Becky