Something Else Saturday - That Tastes Like Crap!

Ambergris is a hard, waxy, inflammable material. It is dark gray or black I color. It is created in the digestive system and, simply put, the excrement of sperm whales. Wikipedia states that freshly produced ambergris has a marine, fecal odor. As it ages, the substance takes on a sweet, earthy scent not unlike rubbing alcohol – but without the fumes and chemical acidity.

And it's one of the most sought-after whale-related substances in the world today. According to a Bloomberg Business Week article about ambergris, it sells for $20 per gram - just ten dollars per gram less than gold. Moby-Dick author Herman Melville described it as, "an essence found in the inglorious bowels of a sick whale." He went on to say that it was, "largely used in perfumery, in pastiles, precious candles, hair powders, and pomatum."

AMBERGRIS
Throughout history it's always been the big poo.

It’s completely true. Ambergris is the only "crap" that throughout history has been used as an ingredient for perfumes, cocktails, medicines, and sherbets. Someone told Casanova that it was an aphrodisiac and he added it to chocolate mousse. (Okay, if I weren’t allergic to chocolate mousse and someone else was buying, I’d probably try that last one, if I had enough drinks in me first.)

Ambergris has plenty of modern-day uses, primarily in Europe and Asia. "In 2005, a 200-year-old fragrance originally made for Marine Antoinette, which featured ambergris as a main ingredient, was reproduced in limited quantities for $11,000 per bottle," the Bloomberg article claims. It also remarks that ambergris was used by Andrew Stellitano, a UK food designer, to create a mince pie that sold for $4,700. Here are some other tasty uses for ambergris, according to a recent Smithsonian Magazine article about ambergris:

•           Tonic of chocolate, sugar, and ambergris
•           Pastries that included melted butter, ambergris, and roasted game
•           Folded into eggs, as tried by molecular biologist Christopher Kemp

Kemp claims that ambergris has an unmistakable smell that fills his sinuses. “The smell reminds me of leaf litter on a forest floor and of the delicate, frilly undersides of mushrooms that grow in damp and shaded places.” Right now in the United States it’s illegal to possess ambergris or any other part of a whale, much less cook with it (Thanks, Marine Mammal Protection Act!) which is good. I agree with my husband whose initial concern was for the whales being slaughtered for their much-desired ambergris, "If you've gone through your whole life without eating what crap, it's probably not something you're missing out on." I have eaten a few things in my lifetime that even not-picky eaters would consider adventurous, but whale excrement? No thanks!

Tastefully Tuesday - Waffle Iron Cooking

Waffle irons aren't just for making waffles. Several years ago when I killed the heating element in my stove, our family turned to the grill for most of our cooking in the eight months it took us to decide on a replacement model.

Baking with Your Waffle Iron
We'd just begun home schooling and the curriculum included a geography unit that required making recipes from different countries. At first it wasn't a problem but then we encountered a recipe for a certain type of cake. Noo! We'd been buying our cakes from the last-chance cart in the back of our local superstore. Tasked with finding a creative solution, we decided against baking deserts in the grill and instead tried using the waffle iron.

It was a great success! If you've never tried it, then I highly encourage you to try baking your next batch of cupcakes, muffins, or even cinnamon rolls in the waffle maker. In the meantime, here are some variations to tempt your palate.

Hot Fudge Sundae Waffles

Chocolate cake waffles with a dollop of buttercream frosting, drizzled with chocolate syrup and mini chocolate chips, and a cherry on top. This also works with brownies instead of chocolate cake. This also works with vanilla ice cream instead of frosting.

Red Velvet Cake Waffles

Red velvet cake was my favorite before I developed an allergy to chocolate. Cream cheese frosting, drizzles of chocolate syrup, and white and dark chocolate garnish make it that much tastier.

Blueberry Muffin Waffles

Mmm. This version is topped with a trio of blueberry donut holes and fresh blueberries. Powdered sugar is another great topping for blueberry muffin waffles.

Waffle Ice Cream Sandwich

Back in 1825 French cooking author Juliet Archambault described rolling "little waffles" into a cone. And in Mrs. A.B. Marshall's Cookery Book she suggested baking the cornet-shaped dessert with almonds and then filling them with cream. It wasn't until the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis, Missouri that George Bang, owner of the Banner Creamery, allegedly rolled up a waffle to hold patrons' ice cream when he ran out of cones. Now that you've enjoyed a bit of a history lesson, why not take waffle-and-ice-cream desserts to the next level and make yourself a waffle ice cream sandwich?

Waffle Cinnamon Rolls

And if you're a stick-in-the-mud who simply can't use waffles for non-traditional breakfast items (Yes, my kids have eaten cake-batter waffles with ice cream for breakfast. We've also eaten fried chicken, hot dogs, and Ramen noodles depending on how chaotic our mornings are.) then try cinnamon roll waffles. Use your own recipe or, if you're all thumbs in the kitchen like me, used the stuff from the can. Afterwards drizzle with cream cheese like normal and tada! You just made cinnamon roll waffles!

Not Just for Desserts and Pastries
Finally, you can use your waffle iron to make Panini sandwiches. Forget buying an expensive griddle or a trendy sandwich press! Last Sunday morning my family was short on time. My husband, who usually takes care of the big breakfast for weekends, hurt his arm at work so the cooking is up to me.

Using the stove top usually leads to trying to silence the smoke detector and/or remembering how to use the fire extinguisher so we've had to get creative in order to continue eating. I pulled out some refrigerator biscuits and various other ingredients like shredded cheese, cream cheese, pepperoni, lunch meat, mushrooms, and eggs. Flattening two of the biscuits, I put the ingredients in the center and flattened the edges with a metal fork - just like you would if you were baking pies. Then I cooked them in the waffle iron for about a minute, or until I could hear the cheese sizzling out from the sides.

Some of the waffle-iron Panini variations were:

• pepperoni and shredded mozzarella, sans sauce
• ham, pepper-jack cheese, and scrambled eggs
• grilled 3-cheese waffle sandwiches with cream cheese, American, and Colby-jack
• turkey, scrambled egg, and shredded Colby-jack cheese
• a leftover hamburger (crumbled), mushrooms, and Swiss cheese

It's one of the few times that breakfast was a hit with everybody in the family. With two teenage sons in the house and my weird food allergies that's not an easy task. And the best part was, nothing caught fire this time! A few nights later my sons requested we use the waffle iron to make cheesy garlic bread to accompany our dinner of spaghetti and meat balls, and my youngest son is bound and determined to try a macaroni and cheese waffle-iron-Panini sometime in the near future. One useful tip is this - use the pointy end of a wooden chopstick or skewer to scoop up that melted cheese from the waffle iron before it dries. You will be thankful that you did the next time you go to use it.

Thanks for checking out this edition of Tastefully Tuesday, where I offer simple ways to throw a creative touch on an otherwise traditional food. What waffle-inspired dessert creations would you like to try? (On my list is pumpkin waffles drizzled with homemade cream cheese frosting. Mmm.) Or maybe you've already tried some and have suggestions to share. I'd love to hear your comments!

Death by Chocolate

2012 started with extensive allergy testing. After being poked, prodded, and scratched the only allergies medical professionals could confirm were dogs, cats, and dust. Because two out of three of those things roam freely through my house (HINT I am totally not a cat person.) nearly constantly, I welcomed four more prescriptions to my daily regime of pills and tonics.

Some of the other things giving me issues are cinnamon, chocolate, and raw onions. The allergist seemed baffled at why these things cause a reaction, when the test showed no allergies to them. She referred me to my GI doc who I was seeing anyway for an unrelated issue. Maybe it's related to the esophagus.

Or maybe it's oral allergy syndrome. It's like whoever wrote the wikipedia article about it knows me personally. The descriptions are scarily accurate. Testing requires a series of oral challenges. (Yeah, every time I say "oral challenge" it sounds more dirty than the last time I said it.)

Sadly I was unable to bring it up with my tall, dark, handsome GI specialist because there was this massively huge poster on the wall behind his head titled something like this - LIVING WITH ANAL FISSURES. I know, right? There was no way I could talk about oral challenges with a straight face while looking at him, much less while looking at him with that title arcing above his head.

Until they get it figured out, I'll continue to skip chocolate. Thank goodness for conversation hearts, or it would be a very bleak Valentine's Day.